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A Special Daddy

A Special Daddy

 

Time can change so much. When I was younger, I never dreamed I would ever want children. Maybe it was because I was the eldest of 6 children. Maybe it was because I had shared everything for so much of my life and was ready to be selfish and just be on my own. Or maybe it was just because I hadn’t met the right person or circumstances yet to show me how a child could be the most amazing gift you could ever be given.

When Chris and I started dating, I remember the subject of children coming up, and me quickly announcing that I never wanted any. Chris seemed a little shocked, as perhaps he knew me a little better than I knew myself. While I stubbornly stood my ground, even if deep down I knew I was wrong, Chris tried sharing his thoughts with me. He told me how important it was to have a child of his own, as he wanted it to carry a combination of the qualities of the parents that created it (while still remaining unique), and to see it grow into adulthood. He knew that parenting was a calling he wanted to fulfill one day and that when he had a child, it would be something he would devote his life to. Having a baby would fully complete his dreams of creating his own little family he could love and provide for, and that job would give him more pride than any other job he could do. His sureness and words quickly quieted my mind, and I realized that I was coming from such an immature place, a place of fear. I then slowly started to rethink my views.

Once my nephew was born, I realized that I wanted a child of my own as well, and that Chris’ vision had made me to look hard at myself and forced me to grow up. I had to stop fearing how vulnerable I felt when I opened myself up to feel, as I would protect myself by hiding from emotions that made me feel weak, and be open to whatever came at me, even if it hurt.

Chris is such an amazing person and has in turn made me into a better mom. He’s patient when I get frazzled, calms me when I become a storm, and is supportive when I break. He can make me smile in any situation, and encourages me to be the best I can be. He gives me courage take that one extra step and try harder, and I never have to fear failing, as I know he will be there to catch me if I fall. Watching him with Ollie makes me the happiest woman on the planet. He is the perfect daddy for him. He knows how to gently push Ollie out of his comfort zone (much like he does to me) to get him to try new things, or expand his abilities, he encourages and praises him, makes him laugh heartily and pours all of his attention into their interactions. He turns into a big kid when he’s with Ollie and I know they special bond they have now will only grow stronger as the years go by.

Chris not only puts everything into his daddy role, but he also works super hard providing for his little family and then putting more time into his duties at home. He rarely complains, even when it’s obvious he’s exhausted. All he asks for is some love from us, and a little video game time. :)

His sensitive side that opened my world up definitely runs in the family, as Ollie truly is a gentle loving soul. He is so calm and quiet when he meets animals, blowing them kisses and gingerly petting them with his index finger. He whispers to us, nuzzles under my chin when he’s cuddling on my lap, and kisses everything he loves, which includes his seatbelt on his car seat. The last couple of days, Ollie has started finally calling us by our names. When he sees daddy’s car, he bounces up and down on his bum, a huge smile plastered across his face and he gleefully shouts, “Da-dee! Dee, dee, dee!” Yesterday he started pronouncing the “d” at the end, saying, “Daa-d!”

The love they share is so incredible and touches my heart so deeply it hurts. I’ve never been a part of anything so beautiful before and can’t imagine what my life would be like without these two special gentlemen.

I am obviously very blessed, as I’ve only known wonderful father figures, my own father being a wonderful example of selflessness, creativity and love. I’m proud to know Ollie will be surrounded by strong, loving men who will be able to guide him throughout his life and offer him the support he needs to grow into a confident young man.

Happy Father’s Day to all the special men in our lives. Thank you for providing balance, support and unconditional love.

I love you honey!
xo

 

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Comments

  1. Nancy Gallant-Turner says:

    Oh Amanda, i am very late at reading this. Very well written! You are a great and wonderful daughter that is very creative and expressive. You really should try your hand at writing. You are very lucky to have amazing men in your life, considering you were scared to death of men as a baby. I’m sure glad that changed.¬
    Happy Father’s Day Chris xxxxxooooo
    Ollie you are a lucky son¬
    Love you xxxxxoooo
    Mom

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